The 12 Rules of Life · How We Love
Marriage
"Our marriage and family are sacred covenant with God and each other. We protect and honor what God has joined together."
How We Love
Marriage Covenant
"A covenant before God — the most sacred human relationship entrusted to our family."
Marriage in the Slifka family is not merely a social arrangement or a legal contract — it is a holy covenant before God that mirrors the relationship between Christ and His Church. These twelve principles are the commitments we make and renew, not only at the altar, but every day of our lives together.
The 12 Codes of Marriage
1. Covenant Foundation
Marriage is a lifelong covenant before God, not merely a contract between two people. We entered it with God as witness, and we honor it with God as our strength.
"What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate."
— Matthew 19:6
2. Christ at the Center
A cord of three strands is not easily broken. Christ is the third strand — the center and strength of our marriage. We pursue Him together, not just alongside each other.
"A threefold cord is not quickly broken."
— Ecclesiastes 4:12
3. Sacrificial Love
Husbands love their wives as Christ loved the church — with self-giving, servant-hearted, sacrificial love that places her flourishing above his own comfort.
"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."
— Ephesians 5:25
4. Respect and Honor
Wives respect their husbands; both honor one another above themselves. Respect is not earned — it is given as an act of faith and love.
"Let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband."
— Ephesians 5:33
5. Unwavering Fidelity
We maintain absolute faithfulness in mind, body, and spirit. We guard our hearts, our eyes, and our time. Fidelity is not just physical — it is a posture of the whole person.
"Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled."
— Hebrews 13:4
6. Grace and Forgiveness
We keep short accounts and forgive freely as Christ forgave us. We do not weaponize past failures. We choose restoration over resentment, every time.
"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."
— Ephesians 4:32
6. United Purpose
We serve God together as a unified team. Our marriage is not just a domestic partnership — it is a kingdom partnership with an eternal mission.
"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil."
— Ecclesiastes 4:9
6. Transparent Communication
We speak truth in love without fear. We create a home where honesty is safe, vulnerability is welcomed, and silence is never used as a weapon.
"Speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ."
— Ephesians 4:15
6. Joyful Intimacy
We cultivate emotional and physical closeness as a gift from God. Intimacy in marriage is holy — a reflection of the oneness God designed for His glory.
"Rejoice in the wife of your youth... be intoxicated always in her love."
— Proverbs 5:18–19
6. Shared Stewardship
We manage time, money, and resources with shared wisdom and mutual submission. Financial unity is a form of marital intimacy.
"Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
— Matthew 6:21
6. Spiritual Partnership
We pray together and encourage each other's spiritual growth. The couple that prays together stays together — and grows together.
"Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way... so that your prayers may not be hindered."
— 1 Peter 3:7
6. Generational Vision
We build a marriage that serves as a model for our children and grandchildren. Our love story is the first love story our children will ever witness.
"I will open my mouth in a parable; I will utter dark sayings from of old, things that we have heard and known, that our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children."
— Psalm 78:2–4